Next time you have a bad day at work, think of this guy. Rob
is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in
Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore
drilling rigs. Below is an e-mail he sent to his sister. She
then sent it to radio station 103.2-FM in Ft. Wayne,
Indiana, which was sponsoring a worst job experience
contest. Needless to say, she won.
Hi Sue, just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother.
Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been
feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my
dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after
all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must
bore you with a few technicalities of my job.
As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear
a suit to the office. It's a wet suit. This time of year the
water is quite cool, so what we do to keep warm is this: we
have a diesel-powered industrial water heater. This $20,000
piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats
it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the
diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose.
Now this sounds like a pretty good plan, and I've used it
several times with no complaints. What I do, when I get to
the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it
down the back of my wet suit. This floods my whole suit with
warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.
Everything was going well, until all of a sudden, my rear
end started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This
only made things worse.
Within a few seconds, it started to burn. I pulled the hose
out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony, I
realized what had happened.
The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped
it into my suit. When I scratched what I thought was an
itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into myself.
I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the
communicator. His instructions were unclear because he and
five other divers were all laughing hysterically. Needless
to say, I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three
agonizing in-water decompression stops, totaling thirty-five
minutes, before I could reach the surface to begin my
chamber dry decompression.
When I arrived at the surface and climbed out of the water,
the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face,
handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it onto the
affected area as soon as I got into the chamber. The cream
put the fire out, but it took two days before I could sit
down again.
So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about
how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved
down your pants. Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I
love my job, I love my job."
Now, whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself: Is this a
jellyfish bad day?
lol ok i will never complain about a bad day again=] Hope this made you guys smile!
Friday, March 23, 2007
Friday, March 16, 2007
You know you are from Washington when..
1. You know how to pronounce Sequim, Puyallup, Enumclaw and Issaquah.
2. You consider swimming an indoor sport.
3. You keep snow chains in your trunk but they've never been used.
4. You see a person carrying an umbrella and know they must be a tourist.
5. Eating seafood isn't anything special.
6. Your lawn is mostly moss and you don't really care.
7. Your daily commute to work involves riding a ferry.
8. You know the difference between "showers followed by rain" and "rain followed by showers".
9. The sight of Mt. Rainier is still awe inspiring.
10. You're extremely picky about your coffee.
11. You yell at the TV if they pronounce the name of a city wrong or make an inaccurate Seattle reference on "Frasier" or "Grey's Anatomy."
12. You rarely wash your car because it's just going to get muddy again tomorrow.
13. You wouldn't dream of putting an air conditioner in your house.
14. You go to Eastern Washington to get some sun.
15. You can drive from your home to a lake, a river or the Puget Sound in 20 minutes or less.
16. You've seen or know someone who has seen Bigfoot.
17. You remember where you were on May 18th, 1980.
18. You get a terrible sunburn on the first really nice day of summer.
19. You look forward to SeaFair and all its related activities.
20. You take a heavy coat and a hat with you for a day at the beach.
21. You have learned to assume Christmas will be rainy, not white.
22. You've owned the same bathing suit for years because you never have a chance to wear it out.
23. You still can't believe the new Seahawks stadium is open air.
24. Your phone book contains a tide table.
25. You only visit the Space Needle if you need someplace to take out of town guests.
26. You or someone you know works at Boeing or Microsoft.
27. You "Do The Puyallup" every year.
28. You feel guilty throwing something away that could be recycled.
29. You use the word "sunbreak" and know what it means.
30. You know more than 10 ways to order coffee.
31. You know more people who own boats than air conditioners.
32. You know the difference between Chinook, Coho and Sockeye salmon.
33. You never go camping without water proof matches and a poncho.
34. You have no concept of humidity without precipitation.
35. You can point to at least 2 volcanoes even if you can't actually see them through the cloud cover.
36. You wear shorts when the temperature gets above 50 but still wear your hiking boots and parka.
37. You switch to your sandals at about 60 degrees but keep your socks on.
38. You have actually used your mountain bike on a mountain.
39. You buy new sunglasses every year because you've lost last years pair after such a long time not needing them.
40. You measure distance in hours.
41. You often switch from heat to a/c in your car in the same day.
42. You use a down comforter in the summer.
43. You carry jumper cables in your car and your wife knows how to use them.
44. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit under a raincoat.
45. You choose your vacation spot according to the best latte stands.
46. You purchase a new car and the 'Northwest Package' includes a built in umbrella holder.
47. Your children don't get chicken pox; they get 'rust spots' instead.
48. When you think 'big hair', you think of Kent.
49. You can't make it two blocks without seeing a Starbucks.
50. When you hear people from Eastern WA say they're going to the coast, you assume they mean Ocean Shores.
51. You make reference to the new neighborhood going up down the street and people have to ask, "Which one?"
52. You can't believe that people in Spokane actually have yellow grass in the winter and green grass in the summer.
53. You know how to pronounce geoduck and know that it doesn't quack or have feathers.
54. You expect snow for Valentine's Day, not Christmas.
55. You get upset when a store doesn't carry your favorite brand of bottled water.
56. You can tell the difference between Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese, Korean and Thai food.
57. You can taste the difference between Starbucks, Seattle's Best and Tully's.
58. It's not a real mountain unless it has snow and has erupted within the last 200 years.
59. You go to work in the dark and come home in the dark even though you only have an 8 hour workday.
60. You've ever stood alone on a deserted street corner in the rain.
61. You can tell its summer because the rain is warmer.
62. You know what a Frango is.
63. You think the "Middle East" is Ellensburg and the "Far East" is Spokane.
64. You realize no education is required to be a weatherman. Just predict, "Partly cloudy with a chance of rain."
65. You have an earthquake story, and so does everyone else you know.
66. You can identify seven different types of rain.
67. You can identify five different cities by smell alone.
68. You think espresso was invented in Seattle, along with Starbucks.
69. You know what 'Sodo Mojo' is.
70. You can turn in any direction and be within a stones throw of an Indian-run casino.
71. You think summer starts in July and winter in September.
72. It's not a real windstorm until your lawn ornaments blow away.
73. You know exactly where Tom Hank's boathouse was in "Sleepless In Seattle".
74. You know who J.P. Patches is.
75. At least one of your neighbors has a hot tub they haven't used in over a year.
76. You know who really 'let the dogs out'.
77. You become frightened by the bright yellow orb in the sky until the 9-1-1 operator tells you it's just the sun.
78. You've used every setting on your intermittent wipers.
79. You know you better enjoy the snow the first day it falls before the rain washes it away.
80. You marvel when the autumn leaves stay on the trees for more than three days before the rain knocks them to the ground.
81. You can't imagine living through a tornado or hurricane but you secretly think earthquakes are kind of fun.
82. You give directions using the Puget Sound and Cascade mountains as points of reference.
83. You lose your sense of direction if you go east of the Cascade mountains.
84. You know at least 5 different ways to kill slugs.
85. You know at least 10 different recipes that call for blackberries.
86. You are not sure of the color of your house because of all of the rhododendron bushes planted in front of it.
87. You know the difference between a rhododendron and an azalea.
88. You know what a Dick's Deluxe is.
89. You or your family member live "in the woods".
90. You can endure 100 days of rain and wind but an inch of snow means school cancellations.
91. You consider an antique anything mad before 1970.
92. You know someone whose house has been partially crushed by a tree.
93. You know the difference between an evergreen and a deciduous tree.
94. You don't know what a turnpike is and have never paid a toll to drive over a bridge. [[UNTIL THE STUPID NARROWS BRIDGE. Gig Harborians=Angry. :] ]]
95. You own a barbeque that has rusted.
96. You change your wiper blades more often than your oil.
97. Your idea of dancing is nodding your head vigorously.
98. You use your defogger and your AC at the same time.
99. You don't own anything made of wool.
100. When someone honks at you, you think they are trying to say "hi".
101. You get a least 5 e-mails a week from friends asking you to come see their band.
102. You know what a 9-inning lunch is.
103. You think you're working late if you stay past 3 pm.
104. You have more unemployed friends than friends who have jobs.
105. You prefer one mountain range to the other.
106. You know the state flower (Mildew).
2. You consider swimming an indoor sport.
3. You keep snow chains in your trunk but they've never been used.
4. You see a person carrying an umbrella and know they must be a tourist.
5. Eating seafood isn't anything special.
6. Your lawn is mostly moss and you don't really care.
7. Your daily commute to work involves riding a ferry.
8. You know the difference between "showers followed by rain" and "rain followed by showers".
9. The sight of Mt. Rainier is still awe inspiring.
10. You're extremely picky about your coffee.
11. You yell at the TV if they pronounce the name of a city wrong or make an inaccurate Seattle reference on "Frasier" or "Grey's Anatomy."
12. You rarely wash your car because it's just going to get muddy again tomorrow.
13. You wouldn't dream of putting an air conditioner in your house.
14. You go to Eastern Washington to get some sun.
15. You can drive from your home to a lake, a river or the Puget Sound in 20 minutes or less.
16. You've seen or know someone who has seen Bigfoot.
17. You remember where you were on May 18th, 1980.
18. You get a terrible sunburn on the first really nice day of summer.
19. You look forward to SeaFair and all its related activities.
20. You take a heavy coat and a hat with you for a day at the beach.
21. You have learned to assume Christmas will be rainy, not white.
22. You've owned the same bathing suit for years because you never have a chance to wear it out.
23. You still can't believe the new Seahawks stadium is open air.
24. Your phone book contains a tide table.
25. You only visit the Space Needle if you need someplace to take out of town guests.
26. You or someone you know works at Boeing or Microsoft.
27. You "Do The Puyallup" every year.
28. You feel guilty throwing something away that could be recycled.
29. You use the word "sunbreak" and know what it means.
30. You know more than 10 ways to order coffee.
31. You know more people who own boats than air conditioners.
32. You know the difference between Chinook, Coho and Sockeye salmon.
33. You never go camping without water proof matches and a poncho.
34. You have no concept of humidity without precipitation.
35. You can point to at least 2 volcanoes even if you can't actually see them through the cloud cover.
36. You wear shorts when the temperature gets above 50 but still wear your hiking boots and parka.
37. You switch to your sandals at about 60 degrees but keep your socks on.
38. You have actually used your mountain bike on a mountain.
39. You buy new sunglasses every year because you've lost last years pair after such a long time not needing them.
40. You measure distance in hours.
41. You often switch from heat to a/c in your car in the same day.
42. You use a down comforter in the summer.
43. You carry jumper cables in your car and your wife knows how to use them.
44. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit under a raincoat.
45. You choose your vacation spot according to the best latte stands.
46. You purchase a new car and the 'Northwest Package' includes a built in umbrella holder.
47. Your children don't get chicken pox; they get 'rust spots' instead.
48. When you think 'big hair', you think of Kent.
49. You can't make it two blocks without seeing a Starbucks.
50. When you hear people from Eastern WA say they're going to the coast, you assume they mean Ocean Shores.
51. You make reference to the new neighborhood going up down the street and people have to ask, "Which one?"
52. You can't believe that people in Spokane actually have yellow grass in the winter and green grass in the summer.
53. You know how to pronounce geoduck and know that it doesn't quack or have feathers.
54. You expect snow for Valentine's Day, not Christmas.
55. You get upset when a store doesn't carry your favorite brand of bottled water.
56. You can tell the difference between Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese, Korean and Thai food.
57. You can taste the difference between Starbucks, Seattle's Best and Tully's.
58. It's not a real mountain unless it has snow and has erupted within the last 200 years.
59. You go to work in the dark and come home in the dark even though you only have an 8 hour workday.
60. You've ever stood alone on a deserted street corner in the rain.
61. You can tell its summer because the rain is warmer.
62. You know what a Frango is.
63. You think the "Middle East" is Ellensburg and the "Far East" is Spokane.
64. You realize no education is required to be a weatherman. Just predict, "Partly cloudy with a chance of rain."
65. You have an earthquake story, and so does everyone else you know.
66. You can identify seven different types of rain.
67. You can identify five different cities by smell alone.
68. You think espresso was invented in Seattle, along with Starbucks.
69. You know what 'Sodo Mojo' is.
70. You can turn in any direction and be within a stones throw of an Indian-run casino.
71. You think summer starts in July and winter in September.
72. It's not a real windstorm until your lawn ornaments blow away.
73. You know exactly where Tom Hank's boathouse was in "Sleepless In Seattle".
74. You know who J.P. Patches is.
75. At least one of your neighbors has a hot tub they haven't used in over a year.
76. You know who really 'let the dogs out'.
77. You become frightened by the bright yellow orb in the sky until the 9-1-1 operator tells you it's just the sun.
78. You've used every setting on your intermittent wipers.
79. You know you better enjoy the snow the first day it falls before the rain washes it away.
80. You marvel when the autumn leaves stay on the trees for more than three days before the rain knocks them to the ground.
81. You can't imagine living through a tornado or hurricane but you secretly think earthquakes are kind of fun.
82. You give directions using the Puget Sound and Cascade mountains as points of reference.
83. You lose your sense of direction if you go east of the Cascade mountains.
84. You know at least 5 different ways to kill slugs.
85. You know at least 10 different recipes that call for blackberries.
86. You are not sure of the color of your house because of all of the rhododendron bushes planted in front of it.
87. You know the difference between a rhododendron and an azalea.
88. You know what a Dick's Deluxe is.
89. You or your family member live "in the woods".
90. You can endure 100 days of rain and wind but an inch of snow means school cancellations.
91. You consider an antique anything mad before 1970.
92. You know someone whose house has been partially crushed by a tree.
93. You know the difference between an evergreen and a deciduous tree.
94. You don't know what a turnpike is and have never paid a toll to drive over a bridge. [[UNTIL THE STUPID NARROWS BRIDGE. Gig Harborians=Angry. :] ]]
95. You own a barbeque that has rusted.
96. You change your wiper blades more often than your oil.
97. Your idea of dancing is nodding your head vigorously.
98. You use your defogger and your AC at the same time.
99. You don't own anything made of wool.
100. When someone honks at you, you think they are trying to say "hi".
101. You get a least 5 e-mails a week from friends asking you to come see their band.
102. You know what a 9-inning lunch is.
103. You think you're working late if you stay past 3 pm.
104. You have more unemployed friends than friends who have jobs.
105. You prefer one mountain range to the other.
106. You know the state flower (Mildew).
Saturday, March 10, 2007
Catholic neighbor
Each Friday night after work, Bubba would fire up his
outdoor grill and cook venison steak. But all of Bubba's
neighbors were Catholic, and since it was Lent, they were
forbidden from eating red meat on Friday.
The delicious aroma from the grilled venison steaks was
causing such a problem for the Catholic faithful that they
finally talked to their priest.
The priest came to visit Bubba and suggested that he become
a Catholic.
After several classes and much study, Bubba attended Mass.
The priest sprinkled holy water over him and said, "You were
born a Baptist and raised as a Baptist, but now you are
Catholic."
Bubba's neighbors were greatly relieved, until Friday night
arrived and the wonderful aroma of grilled venison filled
the neighborhood. The priest was called immediately by the
neighbors.
As the priest rushed into Bubba's yard, clutching a rosary
and prepared to scold him, he stopped and watched in
amazement.
There stood Bubba, clutching a small bottle of holy water,
which he carefully sprinkled over the grilling meat while
chanting, "You wuz born a deer, you wuz raised a deer, but
now you are a catfish."
outdoor grill and cook venison steak. But all of Bubba's
neighbors were Catholic, and since it was Lent, they were
forbidden from eating red meat on Friday.
The delicious aroma from the grilled venison steaks was
causing such a problem for the Catholic faithful that they
finally talked to their priest.
The priest came to visit Bubba and suggested that he become
a Catholic.
After several classes and much study, Bubba attended Mass.
The priest sprinkled holy water over him and said, "You were
born a Baptist and raised as a Baptist, but now you are
Catholic."
Bubba's neighbors were greatly relieved, until Friday night
arrived and the wonderful aroma of grilled venison filled
the neighborhood. The priest was called immediately by the
neighbors.
As the priest rushed into Bubba's yard, clutching a rosary
and prepared to scold him, he stopped and watched in
amazement.
There stood Bubba, clutching a small bottle of holy water,
which he carefully sprinkled over the grilling meat while
chanting, "You wuz born a deer, you wuz raised a deer, but
now you are a catfish."
Saturday, March 03, 2007
What women are supposed to do...
1. As much as you want to talk about past relationships, keep it to a minimum, unless he asks. You don't want him to feel like he's in competition with anyone.
2. Every guy has a 'geeky' side of him. Whether it be video games, DnD, WoW, anime, football among other sports, or whatever. Don't make fun of him if you don't like it, either tolerate it, or learn to like it. DO NOT try to change him. If he's constantly ignoring you for that hobby of his, tell him.
*3. When you hug the boy, hold tight. It doesn't hurt to rest your head on him either.
4. Compromise for movies. Watch his favorite movies and he'll give in for the movie you want to see.
5. Sometimes pay for the date! I know guys hate this, but if he takes you out constantly, it's more than likely he's going to be poor! Treat him sometime. Even if you just buy the snacks!
6. Hold his hand!! Even in the mall when you have a ton of bags, hold his hand.
7. Don't run away from his favorite stores, if you don't like them! Watch him. Gift ideas!!
8. Any time your guy gives you a compliment, don't just roll your eyes. He means it, and you should smile and say thank you.
10. “Fine�? or “whatever�? is not an appropriate ending to a conversation. Only makes matters worse.
11. Life isn't a drama or a movie. This is real life, people. They don't often come with a sword, armor, and a white steed.
12. NEVER EVER kick them in the place below the belt. Even in a fight or argument, just don't do it.
13. TRUST HIM. Don't scream when he looks at another girl. We know you were goggling at the cute guy that just passed. It's nature. Don't dig through his phonebook, and hey, guys can have female friends just like girls can have male friends. If this makes things awkward, talk about it.
14. This should go without saying. Love him for who he is! Don't worry about what others think. Don't try to change him into what's cool and hip. Some compromises can be made, and tell him that if he ever has a problem you changing him, to tell you.
15. In an argument, just because society stereotypes women as being smarter, more mature, and men as dumb and immature, doesn't mean you are always right.
16. Listen to him. Even if it's something you don't want to hear. Good communication is key.
*17. Cook. It may sound stereotypical, but a lot of guys like having a meal cooked for them. A lot of it is the thought, but if you truly are terrible, then maybe this isn't one you should try. If you know how to cook, maybe teach him, or you both can learn together.
*18. Sing. Many girls underestimate how well they sing. You don't have to be able to sing 10 octaves or whatever. Don't be embarrassed to sing in front of a guy, just let yourself go a bit and have some fun.
*19. Dress modestly. Guys are very visually oriented and get distracted easily. The modest girl is always more likely to be taken seriously in a relationship.
20. Just like girls want girl time, guys want guy time. Giving your guy space to hang with his friends is not only fair, but it shows you trust him in a way.
*21. Respect the guy for who he is, not because he earns your respect. Guys relate to each other on a respect level, and if you want him to open up to you, he has to know that you don't look down on him.
*22. Let your guy take pictures of you. He may not admit it, but that picture will probably be with him always. Even if you think it looks horrible.
*23. Don't always expect the guy to be the one to call. It is okay to call your boyfriend on occasion, and it shows him that you care about him and are thinking about him. And don't get upset if for some reason he doesn't have time to talk. He does have a life
*24. Remind him that you appreciate all the sweet little things he does for you. Let him know it's not all in vain.
*25. If a guy uses a key to let you into his car, reach over and open the door before he gets to it. I know this may be common sense to most girls, but you know, some do not do this. It's a tiny little action that can make a guy go "hey, she's considerate."
*26. Let the guy open the door for you or do any other chivalric action. He's fulfilling your wish for a gentleman, don't deny him the chance to do something nice for you. Thank him! You are doing all these wonderful things for him, let him return the favor.
*27. Communicate with him. Tell him directly what's on your mind. You can always hope that he'll get your subtle hints or body language, but if it's important, you're better off using words.
*28. Sometimes you have to take the initiative. Don't always wait for him to come to you, because if that's how it always is, you're going to lose him.
*29. If they buy you jewelry, wear it around them, even if you don't like it. They will appreciate it, because it's the thought that counts.
*30. A word of appreciation now and then regarding his protective/kind/chivalrous attitude will go miles toward the end. You won't regret it.
*31. Get him little gifts and surprises too, it tells him that we do think about him and he gets something he wants out of it.
*32. When you are talking to a guy you are interested in, lean in, touch his arm or hand, while your talking. physical touch communicates interest and value.
*33. Whether it's from across the room or while your talking let him know that you are only interested in what he has to said. so look into he's eyes and smile.
*34. Never judge him based on his friends. They may give some insight, but sometimes guys as well as girls can befriend people that are completely opposite of themselves because they like the change. Don't let who he hangs around with be the deciding factor of your judgments about him. Get to know him.
*35. Cute is what he is when he does something goofy, not how you should compliment his looks.Tell him he looks handsome... or any other word you'd use to describe James Bond.
*36. Let him know you're on his side and that you support and believe in him.
2. Every guy has a 'geeky' side of him. Whether it be video games, DnD, WoW, anime, football among other sports, or whatever. Don't make fun of him if you don't like it, either tolerate it, or learn to like it. DO NOT try to change him. If he's constantly ignoring you for that hobby of his, tell him.
*3. When you hug the boy, hold tight. It doesn't hurt to rest your head on him either.
4. Compromise for movies. Watch his favorite movies and he'll give in for the movie you want to see.
5. Sometimes pay for the date! I know guys hate this, but if he takes you out constantly, it's more than likely he's going to be poor! Treat him sometime. Even if you just buy the snacks!
6. Hold his hand!! Even in the mall when you have a ton of bags, hold his hand.
7. Don't run away from his favorite stores, if you don't like them! Watch him. Gift ideas!!
8. Any time your guy gives you a compliment, don't just roll your eyes. He means it, and you should smile and say thank you.
10. “Fine�? or “whatever�? is not an appropriate ending to a conversation. Only makes matters worse.
11. Life isn't a drama or a movie. This is real life, people. They don't often come with a sword, armor, and a white steed.
12. NEVER EVER kick them in the place below the belt. Even in a fight or argument, just don't do it.
13. TRUST HIM. Don't scream when he looks at another girl. We know you were goggling at the cute guy that just passed. It's nature. Don't dig through his phonebook, and hey, guys can have female friends just like girls can have male friends. If this makes things awkward, talk about it.
14. This should go without saying. Love him for who he is! Don't worry about what others think. Don't try to change him into what's cool and hip. Some compromises can be made, and tell him that if he ever has a problem you changing him, to tell you.
15. In an argument, just because society stereotypes women as being smarter, more mature, and men as dumb and immature, doesn't mean you are always right.
16. Listen to him. Even if it's something you don't want to hear. Good communication is key.
*17. Cook. It may sound stereotypical, but a lot of guys like having a meal cooked for them. A lot of it is the thought, but if you truly are terrible, then maybe this isn't one you should try. If you know how to cook, maybe teach him, or you both can learn together.
*18. Sing. Many girls underestimate how well they sing. You don't have to be able to sing 10 octaves or whatever. Don't be embarrassed to sing in front of a guy, just let yourself go a bit and have some fun.
*19. Dress modestly. Guys are very visually oriented and get distracted easily. The modest girl is always more likely to be taken seriously in a relationship.
20. Just like girls want girl time, guys want guy time. Giving your guy space to hang with his friends is not only fair, but it shows you trust him in a way.
*21. Respect the guy for who he is, not because he earns your respect. Guys relate to each other on a respect level, and if you want him to open up to you, he has to know that you don't look down on him.
*22. Let your guy take pictures of you. He may not admit it, but that picture will probably be with him always. Even if you think it looks horrible.
*23. Don't always expect the guy to be the one to call. It is okay to call your boyfriend on occasion, and it shows him that you care about him and are thinking about him. And don't get upset if for some reason he doesn't have time to talk. He does have a life
*24. Remind him that you appreciate all the sweet little things he does for you. Let him know it's not all in vain.
*25. If a guy uses a key to let you into his car, reach over and open the door before he gets to it. I know this may be common sense to most girls, but you know, some do not do this. It's a tiny little action that can make a guy go "hey, she's considerate."
*26. Let the guy open the door for you or do any other chivalric action. He's fulfilling your wish for a gentleman, don't deny him the chance to do something nice for you. Thank him! You are doing all these wonderful things for him, let him return the favor.
*27. Communicate with him. Tell him directly what's on your mind. You can always hope that he'll get your subtle hints or body language, but if it's important, you're better off using words.
*28. Sometimes you have to take the initiative. Don't always wait for him to come to you, because if that's how it always is, you're going to lose him.
*29. If they buy you jewelry, wear it around them, even if you don't like it. They will appreciate it, because it's the thought that counts.
*30. A word of appreciation now and then regarding his protective/kind/chivalrous
*31. Get him little gifts and surprises too, it tells him that we do think about him and he gets something he wants out of it.
*32. When you are talking to a guy you are interested in, lean in, touch his arm or hand, while your talking. physical touch communicates interest and value.
*33. Whether it's from across the room or while your talking let him know that you are only interested in what he has to said. so look into he's eyes and smile.
*34. Never judge him based on his friends. They may give some insight, but sometimes guys as well as girls can befriend people that are completely opposite of themselves because they like the change. Don't let who he hangs around with be the deciding factor of your judgments about him. Get to know him.
*35. Cute is what he is when he does something goofy, not how you should compliment his looks.Tell him he looks handsome... or any other word you'd use to describe James Bond.
*36. Let him know you're on his side and that you support and believe in him.
lol rules for men=]
The following is not a list of rules. They're suggestions to encourage guys to be gentlemen. Take 'em or leave 'em.
0. There are always exceptions to this list. The foundational exception is when you actually talk to the her and she says something different than what is included within this list. These suggestions don't provide you with the holy grail of dating or offer you the Ten Commandments for the Ladies Man, they're simply a push in the right direction for being a gentleman.
1. Open doors when possible - whether it be to a building or the passenger car door. the classic example that's stood the test of time.
2. When in a place of worship (or other places that have aisles and pews), if a man is at the end of the pew, when exiting he should stand in the aisle and let all the females go before him. (This seems odd to some people, yet normal for others. If you don't get it, don't worry about it, okay?)
3. A man should tolerate the occasional chick flick, musical, opera, or ballet - whatever her preference is - *without* complaining about it! (Because the guy may just like it.)
4. Play one of the songs that would make any woman weep like the little girl she once was (but in a good way). A brief list includes, but certainly isn't limited, to:
"You & Me" by Lifehouse
Anything by Frank Sinatra
Any rendition of "Everything I Do, I Do it for You"
"Collide" by Howie Day
"Out Of My League" by Steven Speaks
And MOST IMPORTANTLY "Question" by the Old 97's (if you propose to a girl with this song, she is putty in your hands).
("Putty in your hands" is not meant to promote "using women" in any way. This group does not encourage guys to be polite in order to get her into bed.)
5. Talk! The strong & silent bit goes from intriguing to boring quite fast.
6. Find out what her favorite flower is and buy them for her randomly (regardless of the situation you might be in). A simple yet profound truth: a single rose says more than dozens of anything else. (I encourage the women to not allow a guy to "prove himself worthy" through gifts and flowers and such. Trust is a precious thing and it should take a good chunk of time before he gains it back in your heart.)
7. If you miss her, or love her, TELL HER! Even your friends like to hear it every now & again.
8. Re-enact Zales commercials (the ice is nice but certainly not mandatory).
9. Remember: the best gifts you can give are usually free of cost.
10. Leave a note (or send a message) just to say "hi".
11. Ask her questions about herself.
12. Dress nice every once & a while. Any girl likes to see her brother/friend/boyfriend/etc. in a well-ironed button-up with some nice slacks.
13. PRIDE & PREJUDICE ...that's all I have to say about that (I mean, that should speak for itself). (It's even more impressive if he has read the book.)
14. Tolerate small children as best you can. Meaning, put up with the things that can get annoying. They're children, after all. Show them love and care, teach them how to become a better man than you. (You were once extremely irritating. Get over the obnoxious kids and enjoy getting down to their level - not "for her", but for the good of yourself and others.)
15. Learn to dance! There is nothing sexier than a man who can dance really well. If God did not bless you with the grace of Fred Astaire, at least put forth the effort, it will be greatly appreciated. Always slow dance (even if it's just like you danced in middle school). Also, men, sing to a lady. Even if you're terrible, suck it up! They love to listen to it and will not care what you sound like. It's the thought that counts on this one. Unless you're just downright terrible, nothing sexy about that. Haha, thanks, Jade!
16. Kiss her on the forehead.
17. When she's sick, stay up with her. If you can cook (which is *always* a plus), make her some soup. If you can't cook, there's Campbell's soup at hand for you.
18. Pretend to throw her in the pool (or fountain/pond). If you really do throw her in, you'd better jump in yourself. **NOTE** There are some women who just hate this apparently, so you had better do two things: 1) Never allow your buddies be a part of it if you're unsure of how she feels about getting thrown in and 2) You had better know how she feels about it!
19. Hold her hand while you talk, drive, or just for the heck of it (it's the small things that win you big points).
20. LOOK IN HER EYES, NOT AT HER CHEST!!!!!
21. Stupid jokes = awkwardly adorable moments.
22. Tickle her, tease her, let her tease you back without getting all bent out of shape about it.
23. Don't call her hot, or pretty, or cute; call her beautiful, because that's what she is. (I don't think cute is that bad, but definitely stay away from "hot" [it's so overused and superficial] and step "pretty" up to beautiful or gorgeous or stunning or captivating or...)
24. Offer her your jacket/sweatshirt. (Note: you may not see that particular item of clothing for a while, if ever again).
25. Don't be too proud to apologize.
26. It's not stalking to watch her sleep if you fall asleep watching a movie. It is stalking to watch her sleep if you're standing outside her window with night vision goggles.
27. When she feels at her worst, tell her she looks her best.
28. If you're trying to get more than friendship out of the relationship, take it slow and never rush her.
29. Just because you're a guy doesn't mean you are completely incapable of calling when you say you will, it just means you are highly incapable of it. There are few acceptable answers to, "Why didn't you call?", & being male is not one of them.
30. Don't check out other girls in front of your female friends/sisters/mother, unless you are sincere when you later ask them if you think she could introduce the two of you for more reasons than you "want to get some". Pull this in front of your girlfriend/fiancee/wife, she has every right to clock you in the jaw.
31. Guys - always offer to pay for the date. No matter how expensive it gets, especially if YOU asked HER on the date. [if she is willing to pay now and again, don't let your "man pride" get in the way of her wanting to give back to you. she should understand money can be tight - especially when you're always buying]
32. Always do everything in your power to keep her as happy as you can. And cheer her up in any way possible. [if she isn't always happy - and i've never met a girl who is - don't be afraid of her and don't be stupid and always, unquestioningly, blame it on PMS. be there WITH her when times are tough and she wants you there.]
33. When walking on the sidewalk, always walk on the outside near traffic. (So everyone has a different opinion for how this started. For some, it's because of the human waste that was getting thrown out the windows when this was happening a century ago. The woman walked under the overhangings extending from the buildings with the guy in the open to take the mess if need be. Others say it's from the guy's scabbard/sword being on his left with the woman walking on the right. As for today, it's the traffic and puddles and what-not. Whatever it is. It's just a courtesy thing, if it seems necessary.)
34. At least do everything in your power to keep cursing to a minimum while around her. If you can, cut it out period while around her, or cut it out of your vocabulary. Women don't want to hear it, guys don't care about it, adults don't want to hear it, it doesn't impress employers, and you sure won't want your children or someone else's to hear it!
35. Sometimes you have to take the initiative. Don't always wait for her to come to you, because if that's how it always is, you're going to lose her.
36. If any lady is walking alone to her car in a dark parking lot/garage, or is carrying a heavy load, always offer to help walk her to her destination and carry things, if not the entire load. **This may work a lot better and come off non-stalkerish if you at least know the girl you're trying to help. Haha thanks to a LOT of people on this revision.**
37. If a woman says no, let that be her final answer with maybe one question of confirmation after her first answer. Do not pressure or force her in any way after that. Don't make her give in to something she doesn't want to do.
38. Always be honest with her. No woman wants or likes a dishonest man. If you can't be honest with her, she can't trust you, and shows you don't trust her enough to be honest. Trust, honesty and integrity are just as an integral part of a relationship and just as important as love.
39. A man should always genuinely listen to women; no matter how bored or busy the man is. Actively listening to the woman will keep him from pain (and bring the man and woman closer together). This works best, of course, when both the man and the woman actively and equally engage in conversation (this includes listening). For the ladies reading this, please talk - always talk - especially if you are having problems with the relationship and to also avoid making bigger problems.
0. There are always exceptions to this list. The foundational exception is when you actually talk to the her and she says something different than what is included within this list. These suggestions don't provide you with the holy grail of dating or offer you the Ten Commandments for the Ladies Man, they're simply a push in the right direction for being a gentleman.
1. Open doors when possible - whether it be to a building or the passenger car door. the classic example that's stood the test of time.
2. When in a place of worship (or other places that have aisles and pews), if a man is at the end of the pew, when exiting he should stand in the aisle and let all the females go before him. (This seems odd to some people, yet normal for others. If you don't get it, don't worry about it, okay?)
3. A man should tolerate the occasional chick flick, musical, opera, or ballet - whatever her preference is - *without* complaining about it! (Because the guy may just like it.)
4. Play one of the songs that would make any woman weep like the little girl she once was (but in a good way). A brief list includes, but certainly isn't limited, to:
"You & Me" by Lifehouse
Anything by Frank Sinatra
Any rendition of "Everything I Do, I Do it for You"
"Collide" by Howie Day
"Out Of My League" by Steven Speaks
And MOST IMPORTANTLY "Question" by the Old 97's (if you propose to a girl with this song, she is putty in your hands).
("Putty in your hands" is not meant to promote "using women" in any way. This group does not encourage guys to be polite in order to get her into bed.)
5. Talk! The strong & silent bit goes from intriguing to boring quite fast.
6. Find out what her favorite flower is and buy them for her randomly (regardless of the situation you might be in). A simple yet profound truth: a single rose says more than dozens of anything else. (I encourage the women to not allow a guy to "prove himself worthy" through gifts and flowers and such. Trust is a precious thing and it should take a good chunk of time before he gains it back in your heart.)
7. If you miss her, or love her, TELL HER! Even your friends like to hear it every now & again.
8. Re-enact Zales commercials (the ice is nice but certainly not mandatory).
9. Remember: the best gifts you can give are usually free of cost.
10. Leave a note (or send a message) just to say "hi".
11. Ask her questions about herself.
12. Dress nice every once & a while. Any girl likes to see her brother/friend/boyfriend/e
13. PRIDE & PREJUDICE ...that's all I have to say about that (I mean, that should speak for itself). (It's even more impressive if he has read the book.)
14. Tolerate small children as best you can. Meaning, put up with the things that can get annoying. They're children, after all. Show them love and care, teach them how to become a better man than you. (You were once extremely irritating. Get over the obnoxious kids and enjoy getting down to their level - not "for her", but for the good of yourself and others.)
15. Learn to dance! There is nothing sexier than a man who can dance really well. If God did not bless you with the grace of Fred Astaire, at least put forth the effort, it will be greatly appreciated. Always slow dance (even if it's just like you danced in middle school). Also, men, sing to a lady. Even if you're terrible, suck it up! They love to listen to it and will not care what you sound like. It's the thought that counts on this one. Unless you're just downright terrible, nothing sexy about that. Haha, thanks, Jade!
16. Kiss her on the forehead.
17. When she's sick, stay up with her. If you can cook (which is *always* a plus), make her some soup. If you can't cook, there's Campbell's soup at hand for you.
18. Pretend to throw her in the pool (or fountain/pond). If you really do throw her in, you'd better jump in yourself. **NOTE** There are some women who just hate this apparently, so you had better do two things: 1) Never allow your buddies be a part of it if you're unsure of how she feels about getting thrown in and 2) You had better know how she feels about it!
19. Hold her hand while you talk, drive, or just for the heck of it (it's the small things that win you big points).
20. LOOK IN HER EYES, NOT AT HER CHEST!!!!!
21. Stupid jokes = awkwardly adorable moments.
22. Tickle her, tease her, let her tease you back without getting all bent out of shape about it.
23. Don't call her hot, or pretty, or cute; call her beautiful, because that's what she is. (I don't think cute is that bad, but definitely stay away from "hot" [it's so overused and superficial] and step "pretty" up to beautiful or gorgeous or stunning or captivating or...)
24. Offer her your jacket/sweatshirt. (Note: you may not see that particular item of clothing for a while, if ever again).
25. Don't be too proud to apologize.
26. It's not stalking to watch her sleep if you fall asleep watching a movie. It is stalking to watch her sleep if you're standing outside her window with night vision goggles.
27. When she feels at her worst, tell her she looks her best.
28. If you're trying to get more than friendship out of the relationship, take it slow and never rush her.
29. Just because you're a guy doesn't mean you are completely incapable of calling when you say you will, it just means you are highly incapable of it. There are few acceptable answers to, "Why didn't you call?", & being male is not one of them.
30. Don't check out other girls in front of your female friends/sisters/mother, unless you are sincere when you later ask them if you think she could introduce the two of you for more reasons than you "want to get some". Pull this in front of your girlfriend/fiancee/wife, she has every right to clock you in the jaw.
31. Guys - always offer to pay for the date. No matter how expensive it gets, especially if YOU asked HER on the date. [if she is willing to pay now and again, don't let your "man pride" get in the way of her wanting to give back to you. she should understand money can be tight - especially when you're always buying]
32. Always do everything in your power to keep her as happy as you can. And cheer her up in any way possible. [if she isn't always happy - and i've never met a girl who is - don't be afraid of her and don't be stupid and always, unquestioningly, blame it on PMS. be there WITH her when times are tough and she wants you there.]
33. When walking on the sidewalk, always walk on the outside near traffic. (So everyone has a different opinion for how this started. For some, it's because of the human waste that was getting thrown out the windows when this was happening a century ago. The woman walked under the overhangings extending from the buildings with the guy in the open to take the mess if need be. Others say it's from the guy's scabbard/sword being on his left with the woman walking on the right. As for today, it's the traffic and puddles and what-not. Whatever it is. It's just a courtesy thing, if it seems necessary.)
34. At least do everything in your power to keep cursing to a minimum while around her. If you can, cut it out period while around her, or cut it out of your vocabulary. Women don't want to hear it, guys don't care about it, adults don't want to hear it, it doesn't impress employers, and you sure won't want your children or someone else's to hear it!
35. Sometimes you have to take the initiative. Don't always wait for her to come to you, because if that's how it always is, you're going to lose her.
36. If any lady is walking alone to her car in a dark parking lot/garage, or is carrying a heavy load, always offer to help walk her to her destination and carry things, if not the entire load. **This may work a lot better and come off non-stalkerish if you at least know the girl you're trying to help. Haha thanks to a LOT of people on this revision.**
37. If a woman says no, let that be her final answer with maybe one question of confirmation after her first answer. Do not pressure or force her in any way after that. Don't make her give in to something she doesn't want to do.
38. Always be honest with her. No woman wants or likes a dishonest man. If you can't be honest with her, she can't trust you, and shows you don't trust her enough to be honest. Trust, honesty and integrity are just as an integral part of a relationship and just as important as love.
39. A man should always genuinely listen to women; no matter how bored or busy the man is. Actively listening to the woman will keep him from pain (and bring the man and woman closer together). This works best, of course, when both the man and the woman actively and equally engage in conversation (this includes listening). For the ladies reading this, please talk - always talk - especially if you are having problems with the relationship and to also avoid making bigger problems.
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