Valintines Day

I didnt do a Vday blog so here it is and sorry its late=]

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All eyes were on the radiant bride as her father escorted her down the aisle. They reached the chuppa (wedding canopy) and the waiting groom. The bride kissed her father and placed something in his hand. The guests in the front row responded with ripples of laughter. Even the rabbi smiled broadly. The groom watched his bride nervously.

As her father gave her away in marriage, the bride gave him back his credit card.

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Little Mary was at her first wedding and gaped at the entire ceremony. When it was over, she asked her mother, "Why did the lady change her mind?"

Her mother asked, "What do you mean?"

"Well, she went down the aisle with one man, and came back with another one."

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Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?"

"Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life," her mother explained, keeping it simple.

The child thought for a moment and said, "So why is the groom wearing black?"

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Two women were discussing marriage, and one said, "We've been married twenty-five years, and every night my husband has complained about the food. Not one night goes by without him complaining about the food."

The other woman said, "That's awful. Doesn't it bother you?"

The first one said, "Why should I object if he doesn't like his own cooking?"

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A grandmother overheard 5-year-old Christy "playing wedding." The wedding vows went like this:

"You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say may be held against you. You have the right to have an attorney present. You may kiss the bride."

***
A dietitian was once addressing a large audience in Chicago. "The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago.

"Red meat is awful. Soft drinks erode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water.

"But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have eaten or will eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?"

A 75-year-old man in the front row stood up and said, "Wedding cake."